Being Raised by a Mother with Spina Bifida

     My mom has spina bifida, but that has not impacted her on being a good mother to me one bit. As a mom, I think she spoiled me. I do not remember having many chores. Looking back on it I really should have helped her out. I think her disability forced her to be creative in many situations. For example, when she does laundry she uses prongs to be able to reach the socks in the bottom of the washer to be able to get them into the dryer. She also places laundry baskets in front of her to be able to take them from one place to another rather than carrying them. To vacuum she puts on her wheelchair breaks, vacuums a small section, moves and repeats. There are so many things I could have done to help that would have been much easier for me to do than it is for her to do. My mother is not one to complain though.
     Having spina bifida, I can tell, gets hard on her sometimes. There were also occasions where she had difficulties with bladder and bowel control, which were out of her hands. I could see how sometimes it was very embarrassing and sometimes frustrating for her, but I always tried to make her feel okay and loved. It was sad for me to see her struggle in these moments. Especially once when my dad got frustrated/tired. I can understand that it would have to be hard on him as well though.
     There was also the difficulty of places that weren't accommodated for people that were in wheelchairs. The places without ramp entrances, handicap bathroom stalls, sidewalks without a curb entrance, places without sidewalks, and many others. It was even hard sometimes at places with the accommodations, it is hard to keep a place maintained for those in wheelchairs. Once, at my sisters parent teacher conference at the High School, my mother was just strolling along and there was an uneven differences in height in the side walk and it stopped her wheelchair abruptly and the impact caused her to fall out of her wheelchair. She ended up landing on her nose and had a large cut. That got me mad and for a while I was mad at the high school, but it just goes to show that accidents happen that are unexpected, and they do happen to everyone.
        I once asked my mom if she was ever sad that she was in a wheelchair and she was honest with me. She said, "When I was younger I used to get mad a lot. I would wonder why I wasn't like the other kids. I would focus on the things that I couldn't do. As I got older though I came to understand how that didn't help me. I started to focus on what I could do. I also never thought I would get married, or that no one would want to marry me, but then I met your dad."
     I am so grateful for my mom. She is a wonderful, beautiful, amazing woman. Nothing stops her. She is still human though, but a very special one to me and I will always hold her dear to my heart.


A picture of my mom and I on my wedding day. I love you Momma.